EP 225: How I Healed My Life
Why do you believe your life is not healed yet?
A lot of times, we see evidence like unhealthy communication patterns, we don’t make time for ourselves because we feel like we aren't good enough to, we have an unhealthy relationship with our finances... These are all signs of areas for deep study within yourself.
Healing begins with curiosity about why you have or do these unhealed patterns. You ask yourself: Why do I self sabotage?
This curiosity is what allows the rewrite. For many of us, curiosity is often in desperation. We feel the need to acknowledge that aspects of ourselves now, or in the past, are so desperate to heal that we believe life needs to change right now. These are moments of opportunity to realize who we really are and rewrite our story how we want to.
My desire to transform was birthed from desperation after being raped at 19 and being put on pharmaceuticals for years. I was very unwell, I attempted suicide twice, and lived in a lot of trauma. My first husband was a drug addict which led to a lot of financial unhealthiness. I had SO much darkness in my late teens/early 20's.
It was around 23 that I realized, “I can’t live like this." I had to ask myself, “Who are you living for Lauren”. I came to this realization that I was living to make everyone happy and just trying to get by and be safe. I was not actually trying to cultivate a life of joy, I was just trying to not get hurt. When I hit my rock bottom in 2012/2013 and I went on a journey to change my life. I found personal development and improved myself through the HEAL process that I am so excited to now be able to share with everyone else.
I found my purpose.
When you're operating in that space of trying not to get hurt, you begin to manifest it. We are magnets. The universe wakes you up with more hurt and suffering saying, “Hey, stop focusing on this and start calling in what you want.” Source brings you your deepest fears so they can be healed and so that your truest essence of empowerment can be realized.
In my process, my biggest breakthrough was, "You, and only you have the power to change your life, and you, and only you have the fullest ability to create anything you want." You need to harness that and get really clear about the life you are creating for yourself, what old stories you are not settling for anymore, and what you need to let go of (i.e. patterns of trauma and related belief systems).
When we're trying to heal our life, whether that's healing our bodies, our relationship with money, or with ourselves, I've discovered that the way to transformation is through forming new perspectives of experiences I have had in the past. If we don't, we will continue to play the stories we have created in relation to our traumas over and over again. For example, if I was bullied I may create this narrative that it is not safe to be myself. I will shrink down, be small, and won't be my fullest essence out of fear of judgement. Then, I get sick, or binge eating, or feeling brain fog and fatigue because I'm not living to my fullest potential. Spirit is screaming, “Just fucking be yourself” and the body is trying to wake you up to what you're not waking up to.
It's always a journey of realizing the things we’ve been through can have new meaning for us. When we learn the wrong lesson from our experiences, we keep going back until we get the right message from that experience.
So what is the right lesson? Healing helps us learn this and release those experiences with love.
Of course there are layers to this. Forgiving the child who went through the experiences, forgiving the self for carrying those wounds and playing all the experiences over and over again (in mind and in physical reality), forgiving yourself for not yet rewriting that story and the time spent in that suffering. We can choose to see how the victim back then, is still the victim in today's reality manifesting these experiences to continue and then we can rewrite it.
Healing is rewriting the story that there was ever something wrong with you in the first place. It's finding and reclaiming your wholeness, happiness, sovereignty, power, and confidence.
When you don't feel you are living your life to its fullest potential, we can go on this journey to rewrite that and that is what the HEAL program is all about.
So, how I healed my life?
I got really clear about what I would no longer tolerate. I decided to look at my deepest wounds, to forgive myself, to let go of those who have hurt me, to reclaim how incredible I am, and give myself permission to practice feeling that even when it's hard. I healed my life with ceremony work, plant medicine, inner reflection, and time in nature (which you'll learn more about in the HEAL program if you sign up!)
I encourage and challenge you to just explore the vision of what life would look like if you healed your wounds.
What reality could you create if this was fully healed?
Maybe a part of you says, "I don't even know.” or “I don't want to know.” but we need to get clear on the destination of our journey.
The HEAL. Program and free 5 day series, "Make Healing a Reality" are a great way to start.
I spent years in my shadows and my suffering. If I can get through it, I know anyone can. I am holding the faith for you and you can hold it for yourself too....
YOU'VE GOT THIS.
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