I’ve been thinking a lot about something I call the loop of suffering – a cycle so many of us fall into without even realizing.

It’s that experience of doing all the things to grow…
yet somehow nothing feels like it’s actually shifting.

You’re reading the books.
Watching the masterclasses.
Processing your childhood stories on repeat.
Trying to “think positive” even while insecurity still lingers.
Working on yourself endlessly… but not actually living.

And no matter how much inner work you do, the same patterns, the same triggers, the same emotional waves seem to return – almost like you’re walking in circles with no clear exit.

I’ve been there.
More times than I can count.

It’s confusing, and honestly frustrating, because it can make you feel like you’re missing something…
when the truth is, most people in this space have been taught to heal harder, dig deeper, and keep excavating.

But that approach often pulls us further into the loop instead of moving us out of it.

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Signs you might be in the loop

You’re consuming all the information but nothing is changing.
You’re trying to be positive but still feel weighed down.
You’re endlessly self-improving but not enjoying your life.
The same emotional triggers keep resurfacing.
You’re stuck in the same patterns that brought you to this work in the first place.
You feel like you’re trying so hard, but not seeing the shifts you hoped for.

If any of these resonate, here’s something I want you to hold gently:

The issue isn’t your desire to grow.

It’s that most of us were never taught to grow in a way that actually supports the body or the nervous system, and many times it was a fight to just survive.

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A different way of relating to growth

You don’t need to keep finding more things to fix.
You don’t always need more information.
You don’t always need to dig deeper into the pain.

Most of the time, what’s coming up will naturally move through when your system feels safe, supported, and ready – not when you force it to unearth.

What many of us need is a different relationship with the process:

Space to integrate instead of constantly pushing.
Joy and empowerment woven into the journey, not just intensity and excavation.
Moments of living, not just analyzing.

Growth isn’t meant to feel like a treadmill you can’t get off.

It’s meant to feel like unfolding – slowly, steadily, and in your timing.

It reminds me of something my teacher always says:

“Be mindful not to indulge in suffering.”
Meaning: honor what’s coming up, feel it so it can move… but don’t get trapped circling around the same pain from every angle.

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If you’ve been stuck in that loop…

Let this be a soft reminder:

Take things one step at a time.
One gentle shift at a time.
Leave room for play, joy, and rest.
Let your growth support your life – not replace it.

There’s a difference between living your life and examining it – and you’re allowed to do more of the living part.

With so much love & deep celebration for all that you are,
Lauren