If you’ve ever wondered whether the hard parts of entrepreneurship mean you’re doing something wrong, this one’s for you.

I’ve been building businesses since 2015. And in that decade, I’ve experienced things I used to feel too ashamed to talk about openly – panic attacks in auditoriums, firing back at clients on recorded calls, burning an entire brand to the ground and walking away with no plan for what was next.

For a long time, I thought leadership meant having it all together and teaching others to do the same. I thought being a mentor or a guide meant never letting people see the seasons where I felt completely undone by the very thing I was building.

But here’s what I’ve learned…

The hard stuff is evidence that you’re growing.

When business becomes the healing container

One of the first major initiations on my entrepreneurial path happened during my very first big month. I had just made $8,000 – more money than I’d ever seen in my bank account at one time. I was so excited. I went to Target to celebrate, bought champagne and spa supplies, and when I got to the register… my card declined.

I tried the ATM. Declined again.

Now, what you need to know is that years before this, I was married to someone struggling with serious addiction. During that time, I would regularly go to the store and discover money was missing from our accounts because of his secret drug problem. So standing in that Target with my card declining, my nervous system went into full panic mode. Old trauma, new moment.

Then I got home and opened my mailbox to find a legal letter. I was potentially being taken to court over an apartment lease I had broken years earlier – and the amount they were coming after me for was exactly $8,000.

In that moment, I understood something I’ve never forgotten: business has a way of bringing up everything we haven’t fully integrated yet.

The universe will mirror back your wounds in the most precise ways – not to punish you, but to give you the opportunity to heal them. To rewrite the story. To do it differently this time.

The $100k month that broke me open

In 2018, I had my first six-figure month. I was at a Tony Robbins leadership training, selling on my phone between sessions, juggling a mastermind, digital courses, content creation, and client calls.

I hit $100,000 in a single month… and then I had a full nervous breakdown in the middle of the auditorium.

My nervous system couldn’t hold it. I had pushed and pushed and pushed to hit that number, and when I finally did, I realized I had no capacity for what I’d built. I was completely dysregulated.

That same day, I checked my email and found three nearly identical messages from mastermind students – all of them unhappy, all of them feeling like their needs weren’t being met.

It mirrored something that had happened to me in middle school, when I opened my locker one day and found multiple letters from friends breaking up with me – all written in the same way.

The law of rewrites was showing me exactly where I still had healing to do.

I got on the group call that evening and tried to hold space. But one student came at me in a way that felt aggressive, and I didn’t know how to hold it. I fired back at her on a recorded call in front of fifteen people.

I’m not afraid to talk about this anymore. I was young. I was learning. I didn’t have the tools yet to be a hollow bone when difficult energy came into my field. But that experience, as painful as it was – taught me more about facilitation, boundaries, and nervous system capacity than almost anything else.

Burning it all down

Eventually, my body made the decision for me.

I developed severe chronic illness. Inflammation, brain fog, hair falling out, completely burnt out. I had to pause my business and move to Sedona for nine months to actually heal.

What I realized during that time was that everything I was experiencing physically was connected to how I had been building. I was over-giving. I was tying my worth to numbers. I was saying yes to everything and everyone. I was constantly working. And it was killing me.

I had to burn down Badass Business Babe – the brand I had poured years into, and walk away with no clear vision of what was next.

That was one of the hardest seasons of my life. There was so much grief in letting go of something I had built, even when I knew it was no longer aligned. I had to write a letter to that old business, thank it for everything it taught me, and release it with love.

And from that space… Lauren of Love was born.

What this year taught me about boundaries

Even after a decade of doing this work, I’m still learning.

This past year I had two client experiences that really shook me. Both involved women I cared about. Both involved dynamics where I allowed my boundaries to be crossed over and over again. Both ended in ways that felt painful and confusing.

To top it off, oth of these experiences happened around the same time my ex-husband passed away. He had struggled with addiction for years, and in many ways, he represented the pattern of manipulation in my life. So to have these two client dynamics surface at the exact same time felt divinely orchestrated – painful, but purposeful.

What I learned is that I had slipped back into old patterns. People-pleasing. Over-giving. Allowing things I should have stopped much sooner.

And the healing wasn’t in pulling away from client work altogether. It was in refining my boundaries even more deeply.

Safety comes from within

One of the most important things I’ve come to understand is this: safety doesn’t live in a number, a bank account, or external validation. Safety comes from within.

It comes from knowing your values. Trusting yourself. Having a reputation with yourself that you can count on. Being clear about what you will and won’t tolerate.

When you have that, you can receive feedback without crumbling. You can hold space for difficult conversations without losing yourself. You can say no to clients who don’t feel safe – even when they’re offering you money.

You don’t have to take every person who wants to work with you. You get to discern. You get to decide. And that’s not being difficult or exclusive – that’s being a responsible leader.

The refinement never stops

Here’s what I want you to know if you’re in a hard season right now…

The challenges showing up in your business are not proof that you’re doing it wrong. They’re invitations. They’re mirrors. They’re showing you exactly where you still have healing to do, boundaries to set, and truth to reclaim.

You don’t have to pretend you have it all figured out to be a powerful leader. You don’t have to hide the messy parts to be worthy of the work you’re here to do.

Your humanity is the whole point.

And every hard lesson – every painful client dynamic, every financial scare, every moment where you wanted to quit – is refining you into the version of yourself who can actually hold what you’re building.

This episode is out now – and it’s one of the most vulnerable conversations I’ve ever recorded. I hope it helps you feel less alone in whatever you’re moving through right now. Click below to listen!

Xoxo, Lauren

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