If you’ve ever been told to “trust yourself” and had no idea what that actually means, this one is for you.

There’s a phrase that gets repeated constantly in the wellness and spiritual world – one that sounds so simple it almost feels like it shouldn’t need explaining.

Trust yourself.

Two words. And yet for so many of us, those two words can feel like the most confusing instruction we’ve ever received.

I remember hearing that phrase over and over on my own journey and genuinely thinking.. what the f*ck does that even mean?

Like, okay great – trust myself. But how do I do that when I’ve spent most of my life disconnected from my own needs? When I grew up learning that my feelings were inconvenient, that my desires didn’t really matter, or that opening my heart too much would only lead to getting hurt?

If you’ve ever felt that way, I want you to know – that response makes complete sense. And you’re not alone in it.

Why Self-Trust Feels So Hard to Access

Here’s what I’ve come to understand through my own healing and through working with women for years…

Learning to trust yourself is a rehabilitation.

It’s not a switch you flip. It’s not a mindset hack. It’s a slow, tender process of rebuilding a connection that was disrupted – sometimes very early on in our lives.

Through childhood conditioning, through trauma, through years of being taught to prioritize everyone else’s comfort over our own truth… we get severed from that inner voice. The one that knows. The one that’s been trying to guide us all along.

And then someone comes along and tells us to “just trust ourselves” and we’re standing there like.. okay, but I genuinely don’t know how to access that part of me anymore.

The reason self-trust can feel so elusive isn’t because something is wrong with you. It’s because the connection was interrupted. And rebuilding it requires something more than just deciding to do it – it requires creating the conditions for that trust to grow.

So I want to share a few things that have helped me, and that I’ve watched shift so much for the women I work with.

Making Space for Your Own Inner Voice

The first thing I always come back to is space.

How much time is there for you in your life? And I mean truly for you – not for your work, not for your kids, not for the endless cycle of showing up for everyone else.

If your entire life has become a pattern of people pleasing, over-functioning, and pouring yourself out for others… there isn’t even room for your inner knowing to speak. It’s not that your intuition is gone. It’s that it’s buried under everything else.

And here’s what’s interesting – creating space doesn’t have to be dramatic. It doesn’t require a full lifestyle overhaul.

Maybe it’s pulling back from social media for a bit and using that 15 minutes to sit outside instead. Maybe it’s closing your eyes for five minutes twice a day and just breathing. Maybe it’s taking a walk without your phone and letting your thoughts settle.

These small pockets of presence are where awareness starts to form. Your intuition needs room to reach you. And when you start carving out even a little bit of that room, something begins to shift. You start hearing yourself again… quietly at first, but it builds.

Rebuilding the Relationship With Your Body

The second piece is one that I think gets underestimated, and it’s the body.

Self-trust lives in the body. And for so many of us, that relationship has been fractured through years of self-abandonment, self-rejection, and ignoring what we actually feel. We’ve been trained to override our physical needs, push through exhaustion, and just keep going. Our bodies have been trying to communicate with us, and we’ve spent years telling them to be quiet.

Reconnecting with the body doesn’t have to look like a full wellness routine or an ambitious fitness goal. It can be as simple as waking up in the morning and asking one honest question…

What does my body need today?

Not what does my schedule need. Not what does my to-do list need. What does my body need.

That one question, asked with real presence, starts to rebuild the bridge. And the more you listen, the more your body communicates. The more it communicates, the stronger your intuitive response becomes.

That is trust being built. One small, honest moment at a time.

Because here’s what I’ve learned – the body doesn’t withhold its wisdom out of spite. It withholds because it hasn’t felt safe enough to be heard. When you start showing up with even a little bit of consistency… when you start proving to your system that you’re actually paying attention now… it opens up. It starts guiding you in ways that feel clear and grounded and deeply yours.

Following Joy as a Path to Trust

And then there’s this piece that I think gets overlooked in the conversation around self-trust…

Following your joy.

We tend to think of trust as this serious, weighty thing. Something we develop through discipline or deep inner work. And while those elements are part of it, there’s another doorway that doesn’t get talked about enough – and that’s pleasure.

When we start advocating for our needs, our desires, our passions – the things that have maybe been shut off or pushed aside for years – we build self-trust from a completely different place. A place rooted in aliveness instead of pressure.

What do you actually need more of in your life right now? What desires have you been dismissing because they felt impractical or selfish? What passions have gone quiet because there wasn’t room for them?

When you start making space for those things, you’re telling yourself something really profound. You’re saying… what I want matters. What lights me up matters. I am allowed to follow that.

That is self-trust in action. Not the heavy, effortful kind. The kind that feels like coming home.

Clearing What’s Been in the Way

And I’ll say this too, because it matters…

Underneath all of it, there’s usually a layer of sticky energetics that need to be cleared. Other people’s expectations living in your field. Old patterns of over-giving and lack of boundary. Trauma responses that have been running the show for so long they feel like personality traits.

These are the layers that keep us stuck in the cycle of disconnection – where we want to trust ourselves, we know intellectually that we should, but something deeper keeps pulling us back into the old patterns.

Healing those layers is what creates lasting change. It’s what allows the trust you’re building to actually hold. It’s what moves self-trust from a concept you’re trying to practice into something that lives in your bones.

That’s the deeper work. And that’s exactly what we move through together inside the HEAL program – clearing the old patterns, reconnecting to the body, and building a relationship with yourself that feels safe, honest, and yours.

If that resonates, I’d love for you to explore it.

Reconnecting With What Your Body Is Telling You

Start your morning with one question… what does my body need today?

Don’t answer from your head – answer from sensation. Place a hand on your chest or belly, take a breath, and listen. Even if nothing comes right away, you’re building the practice of attunement. Trust grows in these quiet moments of checking in.

Honoring the Desires You’ve Been Dismissing

This week, notice one passion or desire you’ve been pushing aside.

Maybe it’s something creative. Maybe it’s rest. Maybe it’s something you’ve wanted for a long time but told yourself wasn’t practical. Write it down. Let it exist without judgment. Following what lights you up is one of the most direct paths to trusting yourself again.

Reclaiming Your Inner Compass in Your Work

Look at where you’re over-functioning or people pleasing in your business or career.

Where are you giving more than feels good? Where have other people’s expectations replaced your own inner compass? Reclaiming even one boundary creates space for your real voice to lead – and that’s where the magic is. ♡

Xoxo, Lauren